It didn’t take my Houston marriage therapy clients to show me that we’re living in a world where everyone is encouraged to move faster and faster if they want to succeed. No longer is it okay to return a call the next day; with cell phones, people know you got the message, so you’d better reply within a few hours. And with smartphones you can’t even get away with waiting a few hours to respond to emails. It’s right there in your hand, so why aren’t you answering it?
Some personalities are made for this kind of lifestyle, but others are not. When those two types of people end up together, it can cause relationship problems as one wants to go, go, go… and the other never quite seems to get started! Obviously, both ends of this spectrum can be problematic, but more and more I find myself dealing with people who simply don’t know how to turn off the speed of their work life and just relax with their partner.
Houston Marriage Therapy: Force Yourself to Unplug
The biggest problem that usually comes from being an Energizer Bunny is that you lose the ability to stop doing things constantly and find joy in the peace and quiet. This would be bad enough if it only affected you, but all too often I witness “connected” partners harassing their spouses for being too slow or even too stupid because they don’t have the ability or desire to jump from one thing to the next in the same way their spouse does.
On the other side of the equation, the “slow” spouse is hurt and frustrated that their spouse can’t just pay attention to them without doing twenty other things at the same time. Naturally, interactions like these cause relationship problems over time as resentment and anger builds up on both sides. If you want to put a stop to it, there’s really only one solution: unplug.
Cutting off your ability to interact in several different ways at once is something that many people find disconcerting at first, especially if they’ve been living that way for years, but it’s something you get used to faster than you would imagine. It helps if you realize that you have a problem and can talk out your differences with your partner, but this may be something that takes time.
Houston Marriage Therapy Can Get You and Your Spouse Moving at the Same Speed
If you just can’t make yourself slow down and disconnect enough to make a difference, it might be wise to mandate that time by calling Houston marriage therapy today and making an appointment.
