If my Houston relationship counseling clients have taught me anything, it’s that the vast majority of people tend to suffer from similar marriage problems. We fight too much, we have too little time, and we don’t feel as connected to each other as we used to.

Of course, that’s only based on my own observational evidence. Three years ago, housewife Chrisanna Northrup was suffering through dissatisfactions caused by the problems mentioned above and found that talking to her friends about it wasn’t enough. She decided that she really wanted to know if what she was feeling was truly “normal,” so she and two doctors joined forces and polled 100,000 married couples from all backgrounds around the world. They’ve since written a book on the findings, aptly titled The Normal Bar.

The fascinating part of Northrup’s book is that regardless of age, location, socio-economic pressures, and sexual preferences, we really do all seem to be trying to solve the same relationship problems and want the same thing out of our partnerships.

100,000 People Can’t Be Wrong, Says Houston Relationship Counseling

So, what did she find? Well, not to sound too self-serving or anything, but therapists seem to be right—the happiest couples weren’t those who had the most money, sex, affection, or freedom, but those who communicated regularly and honestly. When you talk to your spouse, you learn about who they are and what they want and they learn the same things about you.

Oh, and just in case you’re one of those who thinks it’s pointless to keep talking all the time because you already know each other inside and out—people really do change. Don’t just assume that your partner wants the same thing he or she wanted when you met—his or her needs have most likely evolved and you may not be meeting them. That causes marriage problems as you grow apart without realizing it.

Houston Relationship Counseling: It Starts With Talking

Northrup says that one of the best things to come out of the book for her was that it provided she and her husband with an excuse to talk about things they might otherwise never have brought up. Simply learning that other people were going through what they were going through made it seem okay to talk about those problems and deal with them.

Unfortunately, not everyone can just write a book to save their marriage, so if you’re experiencing problems that you don’t know how to fix, it might be time to try Houston relationship counseling.