I’ve seen firsthand in Houston relationship therapy that there’s no one correct way to have a successful marriage. Some couples need to spend every waking second together or they feel lost and abandoned; others work better – far better – if they’re away from each other a lot.
And then there’s the case of functional couples versus romantic couples. Do you know which one you are? Are both of you functional or romantic, or is one different than the other? If so, there’s a good chance you’ll experience friction and could need marriage help.
Houston Relationship Therapy: Functional Versus Romantic Relationships
The term functional is an unfortunate one, because it makes the relationship sound clinical and boring and, well, kind of like a failure. Nothing could be further from the truth though if the people in a functional marriage themselves have functional personalities.
What does that mean? Well, functional people thrive on schedules and planning and organization. A typical weekend of marriage for a functional couple might involve grocery shopping, auto repair, cooking, and cleaning the house where neither spouse sees the other until they come together for a Sunday dinner with friends.
Sounds boring? Not to a person who appreciates a well-oiled machine, and that’s exactly what their marriage is. They found a person who appreciates good time-budgeting skills and getting stuff done just as much as they do, and they’re happy.
Romantic couples, in contrast, would probably prefer to spend the weekend sleeping in together, making a nice brunch, going out to the movies, and making love. If they’re having friends over, they can always order in to get more time together.
Neither one of these marriages is right or wrong if they work for the individuals in them. Problems can arise, however, when a functional individual finds themselves married to someone who is romantic, or vice versa. They inherently want different things out of the relationship, and this can lead to strife. They need marriage help.
Houston Relationship Therapy: Learn to Meet in the Middle
Lots of couples who come to me face problems like this, and obviously it’s more complicated because few people are all function or all romance. We do, however, tend to lean more one way or another, and it’s important for spouses to talk to each other about their needs.
I help my clients to understand that one person’s need for romance is just as important as the other’s need to complete their to-do list. Like all relationships, it’s a give and take. Sometimes that might mean a solution like scheduling in romantic time to appease the functional person and the romantic one.
If you want more Houston relationship therapy advice, call today.
