My time with patients in Houston relationship therapy has shown me that there are lots of excuses people try to use to justify ending their marriage. That may sound harsh, but I don’t mean it that way. Working through marriage issues is hard, and oftentimes just getting out can seem so much easier. It’s a fresh start, a way to put the negativity behind you and focus on yourself so that you can be a better person for your next relationship.
At least, that’s what I’ve had a number of clients tell me when they were leaning toward divorce. They weren’t “ready” or enough of an “adult” when they got into the relationship, and they need time away to grow into the person they want to be. When I hear this, I always wonder why people think being alone helps them to grow. Doesn’t growth come from being challenged? From a need to compromise and understand others?
Houston Relationship Therapy: Time Alone Lets Us Stagnate
Contrary to popular belief, breaking away from a tough relationship to focus on yourself doesn’t allow for growth. What it lets you do is hide, lick your wounds, and either convince yourself that you were right all along or that you’ve changed – but where’s the proof?
Marriage issues can’t be solved by thinking about them alone. You have to interact with the person sharing those problems with you. Giving up and “moving on” is a sure way to have those issues creep up in your next relationship. Instead, don’t run. Deal with the issues and “find yourself” by coming to a better understanding of who you are – and want to be – in relation to your significant other.
If you and your partner need help on your journey to personal growth together, contact us for Houston relationship therapy and set up a consultation.
