Houston, Texas Relationship Counselor’s Advice: Better Sleep, Better Sex

As a Houston, Texas relationship counselor, I’ve seen many couples who struggle to maintain an active sex life, but most people don’t realize how much of a role sleep plays in this. One third of cohabitating adults reported that their romantic relations were negatively effected by sleep problems — such as insomnia, snoring, or just general sleepiness — either their own or their partner’s. New mothers who struggle with low sexual interest have reported that the key cause was being tired. And people with sleep apnea have greater difficulties with sexual function.

Sometimes getting some shuteye just sounds more appealing. After all, sleep is a basic biological need, so it’s not surprising that being exhausted can dampen the mood. But the good news is that by improving your sleeping schedule, you can improve your sex life.

Sleep Tips from a Houston, Texas Relationship Counselor

Bank some sleep in advance. Do you have a busy week coming up? Consider getting some extra sleep the week before. Studies have shown this can help you experience fewer of the negative side effects of sleep deprivation.

Keep the screens out of the bedroom. The artificial light from our laptops and even our TVs can trick our body into thinking it’s daytime, which can suppress the release of melatonin, the hormone linked to sleep. Make it a rule to turn off electronics one hour before bedtime, and curl up with a book instead.

Kick the pets off the bed. Are your dogs or cats waking you up at night? They may be even if you don’t realize it. Find other sleeping arrangements for your canine and feline family members.

Get a better mattress. It may not be just your pets keeping you up at night. When your partner shifts in bed, you may be disturbed. If you’re having issues, consider getting a more stable mattress that moves less when your partner moves.

Work through relationship problems. People who are stressed out get lower quality rest. If relationship problems are on your mind before you go to bed, they may be affecting how soundly you sleep. Consider visiting a Houston, Texas relationship counselor to start improving your relationship.

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Houston Relationship Counselor’s Simple Tips to Improve Your Sex Life

As a Houston relationship counselor, one of the relationship issues I help my clients deal with is trouble in their sex life. Couples come to me afraid that they’ve lost their spark. They report a decrease in sexual activity and even interest. Over the course of our life, our sexual activity does change, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have an active, healthy, and satisfying sex life. Here are a few simple tips for improving your sexual intimacy.

Stay fit. As we age, we tend to gain weight, and this can affect our self-esteem and body image. If you are not comfortable with how you look, it can make you less comfortable making love with your partner, even though he or she may be raring to go! Feeling food about how you look can make you feel more interested in sex, and exercise can also improve your energy levels.

Get enough sleep. Speaking of energy, one of the biggest libido killers is exhaustion. As a Houston relationship counselor, I hear it over and over again. You come home from a long, stressful day of work, and the last thing you can think about is sex. Staying well-rested and finding healthy ways to deal with the stress can make a big difference.

Compliment your partner. Let your partner know when he or she looks good, and communicate about moves that turn you on.  If your partner isn’t sure what gets you in the mood, it’s harder to make it happen. This kind of sharing can bring you together and help you feel more satisfied sexually.

Cuddle! For many couples who are struggling with their sex life, other forms of physical affection have diminished as well. Find excuses to touch each other while doing chores or watching TV. Hold hands, hug, and kiss. These actions can help you to feel more physically connected and comfortable with one another.

Talk to a Houston relationship counselor. Sometimes the stress of other relationship issues can enter into your sex life. Reconnecting and improving your communication can help to make you happier with your relationship, and your sex life.

If you want to seek help for your relationship, please call our offices to talk to an experienced Houston relationship counselor.

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Houston Marriage Counselor on the Importance of Cuddling

As a Houston marriage counselor, I have seen a lot of relationships benefit from making physical affection a priority. Contrary to popular conception, it’s not just women who enjoy cuddling and consider it an important part of a successful relationship. A recent study by the Kinsey Institute found that men actually rated cuddling, as well as caressing, kissing, and tenderness, to be more important to their relationship than women did.

From my experience as a Houston marriage counselor, I don’t find these results surprising. In our society, women typically have more outlets for physical affection. In relationships with friends, it is more socially acceptable to hug, kiss each other on the cheek, stroll arm in arm, or even brush each other’s hair. And in many households the woman does most of the parenting, which allows for many opportunities for physical contact, such as tucking children into bed, bathing, and even changing diapers. Men, on the other hand, often rely on their female partners to fulfill this need.

What relationship advice can you take away from this? Start snuggling!

Houston Marriage Counselor: Cuddling Can Improve Your Sex Life

If you aren’t happy with your sex life, consider how other forms of physical affection may have waned as well. Make a conscious effort to touch even while doing mundane things, like washing the dishes or doing laundry. Take time to snuggle before going to bed. Hold hands while watching TV. Share a kiss before leaving for work in the morning. These small pieces of relationship advice can make a big difference in how connected you feel to your partner, and they can also lead to a greater sense of intimacy in your sex life in general. If you need help discussing your need for more physical affection, consider talking to a Houston marriage counselor.

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