Your Guide to Healing from a Broken Heart

As a Houston relationship counselor, I work to help couples stay together. I believe that sticking together and working through relationship issues is usually the best thing for most couples. But for some, this isn’t possible, and the break-up that follows can be tough.

Some people’s reaction to heartbreak is to shut out future possibilities. They believe that finding love is impossible for them, or they will never be able to trust anyone again. These strong feelings are natural in the beginning.  Your body is essentially going through a sort of withdrawal from the hormones associated with being in a long-term relationship, such as oxytocin which is associated with love, caring, sex, hugging, kissing, and other forms of touching.

But here’s the good news: your body will adjust. What you are feeling now will pass. Your broken heart will heal, and you will be able to fall in love again. From my experience as a Houston relationship counselor, I can tell you that you can make the grieving process easier by following these simple tips.

5 Tips for Curing a Breakup from a Houston Relationship Counselor

Get support from family and friends. You know that oxytocin you are missing? Get a little bit of it back by asking for a hug from a friend or snuggling with a family member.

Stay active. Introduce some new happy hormones in your system. Exercise releases endorphins, plus you’ll get in shape which will help your self-esteem.

Stay busy. If someone invites you out to the movies or a party, go! Even if you don’t feel like it. It will help keep your mind off of negative relationship thoughts.

Smile. It will increase your levels of serotonin and endorphins. Having a hard time turning that frown upside down? Indulge a little. Get a massage. Treat yourself to some ice cream. Whatever makes you happy.

Let go. If you are having trouble and feeling stuck on your old relationship, it can help to go to counseling. Even though your partner is not there, it can really help a lot to dialogue with a relationship specialist about what happened, try to understand the relationship issues you faced, and learn how you can move on. If you want to talk to someone, call our offices to talk to a qualified Houston relationship counselor.

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A Houston Marriage Counselor Explains Why You’re Annoyed by Your Partner

As a Houston marriage counselor, I can’t tell you the number of times couples have expressed annoyance with their partners to me. They lament the fact that their significant other doesn’t do X, Y, or Z, but often don’t bother to talk about these expectations with them. Or when they do “talk” about it, those expectations end up coming out more like emotional demands and cause further relationship problems.

Why do we expect our partners to just know they should do certain things or act a certain way without communicating with them about it? The answer has to do with how we idealize them early on in the relationship.

Idealizing Your Partner Leads to Problems, Says Houston Marriage Counselor

In a new relationship when you are just falling in love, relationship problems are the last thing on your mind. Giddy with endorphins, you glorify everything your loved one does, and imagine a life full of joy, peace, and hope. They are perfect, and will make you perfectly happy in a way that you never could be before.

But as time passes and this magical vision of life doesn’t come about, we start to resent our significant other, and may even start to feel like they’re actually standing in the way of us achieving those dreams. Worse that that, we feel like they’re withholding that happiness from us, and become increasingly annoyed with them. Eventually, this can lead to serious relationship problems.

A Houston Marriage Counselor Can Help

If you find yourself stuck in this rut of feeling annoyed that your partner can’t give you what you need, seek out professional help. The first step in alleviating your relationship problems is to find an effective way to talk about your emotional needs and how they are not being met.

Talking about difficult things can often lead to an argument, especially if either of you enter into the conversation in an emotional state. As a Houston marriage counselor, I can show you how to “take a holiday from being you” and learn how to share your partner’s experience and discover how to help them get what they need just by listening.

Have you ever had an “aha!” moment with your partner where you realized that they really do think very differently from you? So many relationship problems are caused by this very thing. We have an innate inability to see beyond ourselves, but when we finally do, the reaction is amazing and can really help to bring you closer to your partner.

If you’ve tried this on your own and can’t seem to get past your relationship problems on your own, contact a Houston marriage counselor today.

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Couples Counseling in Houston: Keep the Love Alive with Date Night

In my work couples counseling in Houston, one of the most valuable pieces of relationship advice I offer is also the simplest: have a date night. It may seem trivial, but most couples lose touch with one another over time. Sure, they live in the same home, but as we grow older, there are more and more responsibilities that keep us apart. As you spend less time with your partner, you may feel less connected to him or her. That’s how serious relationship problems develop.

Couples Counseling in Houston: Don’t Make Excuses

It may seem difficult to find time for date night. Who will watch the kids? How will I get all my errands done? But consider this. You make time for your physical health by exercising regularly and going to the doctor, and you make time for your financial health by analyzing investments, paying your bills, and updating your budget. Why aren’t you doing the same for the health of your relationship?

The next excuse people often give me in my work couples counseling in Houston is that they can’t afford it. But the cost of not making alone time together a priority is much higher: regular therapy sessions, maybe even divorce fees, and of course the emotional toll it takes on your whole family.

Plus, date night doesn’t have to cost you much money. If child care costs are a concern, find friends with children and swap “babysitting” services, so you can all benefit from a date night now and then. There are many things you can do cheaply or even free. Instead of going out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, make the same meal at home together. Or rent a movie and make a bowl of popcorn instead of going to see a film at the theater. How much money you spend isn’t what matters. It’s how much time you spend together that counts.

If your problems have already escalated to the point where a date night together just isn’t enjoyable, then get relationship advice now. The sooner you address your relationship problems, the easier they will be to resolve. Seek couples counseling in Houston.

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Houston Marriage Counseling for Making Your Marriage Thrive

In Houston, marriage counseling is often a last ditch effort for couples. After years of letting things between them grow stale, the couple finally seeks relationship help to deal with the issue. But the truth is, the earlier you address the problem, the better. Relationships take work. Putting in the effort now will prevent more serious issues down the road.

Houston Marriage Counseling: How to Identify the Issue Early

For many couples that come to my Houston marriage counseling office, the problem is that they didn’t recognize the “symptoms” when they started. How can you tell if your marriage needs some help? Consider these questions:

–          Do you frequently feel resentment toward your partner?

–          When was the last time you laughed together?

–          Do you often wish to spend free time with someone other than your spouse?

–          Do you find yourselves playing the “blame game” often?

–          Are your conversations often filled with bitterness and sarcasm?
If you’ve answered yes to one or more of these questions, then it may be time to address the problems now. In my work Houston marriage counseling, I often find myself reminding couples to make their relationship a priority. You need to spend time alone regularly, even if you have kids. Just like you make time for exercise and running errands, you need to put date night on your “to do” list. And bring the romance back to everyday life. Surprise your spouse with a love note. Or light some candles and take a bath together.

Another important part of making your marriage thrive is communication. At my Houston marriage counseling office, this is something we discuss a lot. Talk about your issues. Express empathy. And spend more time learning to accept your partner’s imperfections than criticizing them.

If you’re looking for a way to work on your relationship, I encourage you to come by my Houston marriage counseling office.

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