Houston Marriage Counseling: Gratitude – The Key to a Healthy Marriage

In Houston marriage counseling, I emphasize the importance of expressing gratitude in a marriage. Often, we get so focused and bogged down by relationship problems that we forget to appreciate the good things.

In a recent study looking at what contributes to a satisfying long-term relationship, appreciation was listed as one of the most important factors. Partners who expressed gratitude in their relationship regularly for just 3 weeks viewed their relationship as having greater communal strength.

When working with clients in Houston marriage counseling, I encourage them to find more ways to express their appreciation to one another. The first step is just to think about the many ways you appreciate your partner. Then find ways to express that gratitude.

A simple “thank you” goes a long way, but you can also show appreciation by sending off an email or doing something special for your partner. It can be as simple as taking on a household chore that is normally the other person’s responsibility, giving them a little break. Or you can do something nice like surprising them by cooking a meal.

With Thanksgiving around the corner, now is a great time to focus on this emotion. Why not make it a challenge? Find at least one way every day to go the extra mile to show how grateful you are to have your spouse in your life.

Learn How to Express Your Gratitude in Houston Marriage Counseling

Are you having trouble communicating to your partner about your gratitude? For some, it comes naturally, but it can be more difficult for people who have a hard time expressing their emotions. It doesn’t have to be that way. You can learn to improve your communication skills and work on relationship problems in Houston marriage counseling.

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Houston Relationship Counselor on Reconciling Your Differences

As a Houston relationship counselor, I believe that creativity goes a long way when working towards reconciling your differences as a couple. No matter how well you get along or how much you have in common, you are still two individuals with separate needs and desires, and this can occasionally cause relationship problems. That doesn’t mean you aren’t meant to be together. It just means you’re both human.

In fact, these differences can make you stronger as individuals and as a couple. You can learn to compromise and accommodate one another’s needs. The key is communication, openness to your partner’s point of view, and often a little outside-of-the-box thinking.

Houston Relationship Counselor: One Couple’s Solution

I know one couple who is comfortable at different temperatures indoors. For a while, it was a major source of disagreement in their relationship. The husband believed that turning on the heat was not only a waste of money but also unnecessary. It was more than comfortable. But the wife was cold, no matter how much she bundled up, so she would eventually turn on the heat and then her husband would feel too warm! No matter where they adjusted the thermostat, one of them was always uncomfortable.

Their solution? Space heaters! It kept the costs down and allowed both of them to enjoy separate temperatures. Instead of trying to reach middle ground together, they found a way that they could both maintain their separate comfort levels.

From my experience as a Houston relationship counselor, I think this is a great analogy for handling other marriage and relationship problems. If there’s no way to meet in the middle, is there still a way that both people’s needs can be met separately? This may mean maintaining separate interests or spending time apart every now and then. Having a little space isn’t a bad thing, but it’s also important to make sure that you still feel connected and share activities together.

If you are having trouble working through your differences, I encourage you to work through your relationship problems with a Houston relationship counselor.

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Houston Relationship Counseling: Why Fighting Is Sometimes a Good Thing

One of the main reasons people seek Houston relationship counseling is to stop fighting, so it may be surprising to hear me say that a little arguing can be a good thing. Having a very low level of conflict in your marriage can be a sign that you are no longer interacting or that you are avoiding talking about the relationship problems you do have.

You are two separate people with separate needs and desires, so it’s only natural that you disagree now and then. Over time, issues you avoid dealing with now will continue to exist and likely get worse. Consider that these conflicts are an opportunity to communicate and improve your marriage. If you go through some minor bickering now, you will have greater satisfaction with your relationship in the long run. Remember, the goal isn’t to “win” but to understand your partner’s point of view and come to a compromise.

If the problem is that you’re just not communicating about anything, and thus not fighting anymore, you need to discover new ways to reconnect. Find new activities to do together. Go out on a date night. Rekindle the flame that was there when you first got together, and get to know the wonderful people you have both become over the years.

Work through Conflicts in Houston Relationship Counseling

Of course, no one enjoys arguing, and you can find healthier ways to work through conflict. If you notice that tensions are rising, take a break. Both of you should cool down before going back to talk about the issue at hand. If you need help talking about your relationship problems, consider seeking Houston relationship counseling.

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Houston Marriage Counselor on the Decision to Adopt After Infertility

As a Houston marriage counselor, I’ve seen couples make the decision to adopt for a number of reasons, although one of the most common is infertility. If this is the case for you and your spouse, the relationship advice I offer is to go through any feelings you may have about giving up on the idea of having a baby by birth. This can be felt as a loss to one or both partners, and that is a natural part of the process for many people. It doesn’t mean you will have trouble being an adoptive parent or that it’s not the right path for you. But it’s important to go through this grieving process before you start the journey towards adoption.

Another hurdle that many couples face is that one partner is on board and the other isn’t. Maybe one spouse never considered adoption as an alternative or has fears about what becoming a parent will mean. If you have a partner who is struggling with the idea of adoption, give them a little time to come around. Often it is a matter of letting them come to terms with the idea. Ask that he or she keep an open mind and think on it.

If you find that your partner still isn’t ready to adopt, sit down and have a conversation about it. Acknowledge your partner’s fears and concerns, and find ways to explore these issues. You can talk to parents who have already successful adopted, join a support group for couples that are going through a similar process, or talk it out with a Houston marriage counselor.

Also, be prepared for how family members and friends will react when you announce your plans. They may also have fears and concerns about adoption, especially if they are not familiar with the process themselves. You know all that time you’ve spent researching and weighing your options? They haven’t had the opportunity to do that, so remember that they only have your best interests at heart and give them time to come around as well. Offer to share some of the articles or books that helped you to come to this decision.

Get Help with the Process from a Houston Marriage Counselor

The process of adopting a child can be stressful. There will be many ups and downs until you get to bring your child home, so be prepared. Take care of yourself by eating right, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. If you are struggling with relationship issues, consider talking to a Houston marriage counselor.

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