Houston Marriage Therapist on How to Cope with an Empty Nest Together

As the Houston marriage therapist, I’ve seen a lot of couples struggle with the transition that occurs when the kids move out for good, or so-called empty nest syndrome. In fact, some couples are surprised by how much of an adjustment it is and the new relationship problems they experience.

One or both partners may literally feel emotionally empty now that your children are not a part of your daily lives. Additionally, you may find yourself with a lot of free time and nothing to fill it with where previously you were juggling recitals, doctor’s appointments, and sports games. You may have initially been excited by the prospect of this newfound freedom, only to find you don’t know what to do with it!

Some couples are now overwhelmed by the amount of time they spend alone with their spouse. They may not be as close as they were before they had children or even believe that the kids are what was keeping them together.

Communication Is Key, Says the Houston Marriage Therapist

It’s important to share your thoughts and feelings about this transition with your partner. Remember, this is an experience you are going through together, and even though you may have different reactions to the change, it can help you feel connected to your partner to talk about it.

If your partner is reacting differently to the transition, it’s important to be supportive and listen to how they are feeling. Many couples find it helpful to seek help dealing with relationship problems from a Houston marriage therapist. You can learn new communication and relationship skills that will better prepare you to move forward to the next stage together.

Often, couples need to learn how to relate to one another again without their kids around. An important part of the process is talking about the future you want to have together, learning about one another’s needs and dreams.  You will find that your roles in the marriage change, and it’s better to talk through these changes rather than simply letting them unfold. How do you feel about your new roles? How have your expectations of your partner changed?

For many couples, this period of time can be a new beginning for their relationship – allowing them to completely focus on one another and rediscover their connection. Planning date nights, traveling, and finding new interests together can make your relationship exciting again and help to ease some of the conflict that may come from your new life together.

If you are struggling with empty nest syndrome, I encourage you to see this as an opportunity to strengthen your marriage and seek help from the Houston marriage therapist.

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Explore Why Always Giving in Can Lead to Resentment in Houston Relationship Counseling

Some couples that find themselves in Houston relationship counseling are surprised by how they got there. There was little to no fighting in their marriage before, but suddenly one partner just isn’t happy or is exploding all the time. It seems to come out of nowhere!

Sometimes this happens because one spouse always “gives in” to the other in an effort to avoid conflict. This can seem like a good idea because it does indeed prevent you from fighting. But over time, always keeping your feelings and needs to yourself won’t work. Instead, you will start to resent your partner and put the blame on him or her, even though in many cases the spouse doesn’t even know that you’re putting your own needs aside for theirs!

Learn How to Argue Fairly in Houston Relationship Counseling

The truth is that all couples have disagreements. No matter how perfect two people are for one another, they are two separate individuals with separate needs, desires, dreams, and goals. Here’s the good news: that doesn’t make you any less “perfect” for one another. In fact, those disagreements can help bring you closer together, but that’s only true if you actually deal with them.

By avoiding arguments, you are only widening the gap between you. You’re denying your partner the opportunity to really know you, and over time, his or her lack of understanding for your point of view will make you resentful.

Instead, your goal should be to learn better communication skills, so that both of you can express how you are feeling and come to a compromise. You can learn these relationship skills and get past marriage problems in Houston relationship counseling.

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Houston Relationship Therapy: How to Become a “Conscious Couple”

When I work with couples in Houston relationship therapy, my goal is to not only help them through their short-term marriage issues, but also to arm them with the skills they need to make it for the long-term.  That’s why I work to make my patients “conscious couples.”

What does it mean to be in a conscious partnership? The founder of Imago therapy, Harville Hendrix, describes it as, “a relationship that fosters maximum psychological and spiritual growth.” These couples use conflict as opportunities for healing and growth.

Houston Relationship Therapy: The Benefits of Becoming a Conscious Couple

This requires having an open, honest, and on-going dialogue with your partner, and it’s what sets your marriage apart from other relationships in your life. When things get uncomfortable in a disagreement with a friend, you can simply find someone else to spend time with for a while until things blow over, but as a member of a conscious partnership, you make the commitment to face your marriage issues head on. And couples that are able to do so in a healthy way find that they are much stronger for it.

Couples who are able to effectively work through their issues also find that the skills they develop together also enable them to improve other relationships – with parents, children, friends, and co-workers.

If you’d like to develop a conscious partnership with your spouse, I encourage you to seek Houston relationship therapy from an Imago counselor to start developing your relationship skills.

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Houston Marital Counselor Explains What Financial Infidelity Is

As a Houston marital counselor, I’ve found that many of my clients aren’t familiar with the term “financial infidelity,” which may be why so many of us engage in it! One study found that as many as 1 in 3 are guilty of it, and nearly 50% of the time, it led to relationship problems.

So, what is a financial infidelity? It’s anytime one partner is spending money that is not in the couple’s budget, or that you aren’t completely sure your partner would support you in spending. It’s about secrets, which are the essence of any type of infidelity.

Houston Marital Counselor: Why Financial Honesty Is Crucial

As the Houston marital counselor, I can tell you that trust and communication are two of the most important ingredients for a successful relationship. And even though you may be lying about something that seems small, it can build up doubts in your partner’s mind and affect other aspects of your relationship.

Financial infidelity is also often a symptom of the fact that you are talking about other relationship problems. You may both have different priorities, and that affects how you want to spend your money. You may be more focused on building up a comfortable retirement fund while your partner believes that you should live a little more in the now while you can appreciate it more.

These are serious relationship problems that don’t go away just because your partner isn’t aware of your last shopping spree. Instead, it’s better to work out a financial plan together – for the long term and short term – and to revisit it regularly, as well as before any major life change (like a job change or a new child). If you have trouble talking through the details, there are two experts you can consult: a financial planner or accountant and a Houston marital counselor.

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