As the Houston marriage therapist, many clients come to me with intimacy issues, but kissing most often isn’t the first thing on their minds. In fact, most couples tend to disregard kissing as an important part of their relationship, seeing it as more of an appetizer when what they really want is the main course. Because of this, they end up having fewer makeout sessions as their relationship goes on.
Experts, however, say that when couples kiss more often, it improves intimacy and helps them to communicate romantically. Kissing is both a way of expressing love and of letting your partner know that there’s a lot more where that came from!
Their relationship advice is not only to kiss more often, but to share with your significant other the things you like (and dislike) about kissing so that you can improve the way that kissing helps you connect. Everyone has their own pet peeves and turn-ons, but there are a number of general dos and don’ts that apply to most people.
The Houston Marriage Therapist Offers Tips to Improve Your Kissing
One of the biggest complaints I get from Houston marriage therapist clients who are going through a down period in their relationship is that they feel like they’re stuck in a rut. There’s no spice or variety.
Lack of variety is also the top kissing complaint from both sexes, so my relationship advice is to change it up – both in the physical sense of how and where you kiss and in the intent behind the kiss. This means…
Kiss all over. Lips are great, but many partners also enjoy being kissed on the ears, neck, and different parts of their face. Talk to them about what turns them on and makes them feel loved.
Put your body into it. Remember, you’re trying to show the depth of your feelings and say there’s more to come with your kisses. Use your hands to pull your spouse close. Allow your bodies to gently touch.
Don’t be too aggressive. One of the biggest pet peeves for many people, especially women, is that their partners kiss too aggressively, with probing tongues. Remember, this is an expression of love, not a domination.
Let a kiss be a kiss. While you want your kissing to hint that there’s more to come, that doesn’t mean that the goal of every kiss should be sex. In fact, your kissing will become much more satisfying and intimate if you allow yourselves to kiss and makeout for kissing’s sake. If both of you know that it’s only a prelude – or an appetizer to the main course – you’re far less likely to put effort into it.
If kissing is too uncomfortable for either of you because of frustrations or hurts, then start with non-sexual touching, such as a hug or simply holding hands. You can always build on things, but it’s essential to always have emotional safety as the top priority, even as you challenge yourself to “stretch” into a less-than-comfortable activity with your partner.
For more relationship advice on how to improve intimacy, stop in and talk with the Houston marriage therapist today.
